There is always the moment. The point at which the bough breaks, the tide turns, the die is cast. For Theresa May, it might have been Monday, when she cancelled the vote on her EU withdrawal agreement, which resulted in enough letters from Conservative MPs to trigger a confidence vote in her leadership.

But we could just as well trace the roots of yesterday to the day in August 1961, when Harold Macmillan announced the UK’s formal application to join the European Economic Community. Mrs May stood in Downing Street yesterday declaring that the Conservatives must not be a single issue party, but in truth they have been that for a long time.

When Macmillan made his plans known there were cries of “shame”, from his own benches and Labour’s. The Tories are not the only party to argue amongst themselves over Europe. The past few years have shown all the major parties contain divisions to varying degrees. As with the parties, so with the UK electorate.

Read more: Hollow victory as Theresa May left weakened by Tory confidence ballot

But no party is as fractured top to bottom as the Conservatives. This most recent leadership challenge confirmed, if further proof was needed, the state the Tories are in over Europe. This was a party that came close to committing regicide again. A party putting its own needs before the country’s. A party in which factions appeared to care more about satisfying the personal ambitions of individuals than the well-being of millions. A party, in short, that is not fit to govern.

How many believe last night’s vote will change things substantially? Mrs May is safe for a year, having had to promise that she will not lead her colleagues into the 2022 General Election. But the party’s problems over Europe remain, the parliamentary arithmetic stays the same, and the plan the PM could not get through the Commons before is the one she has today. As the German Chancellor, Angela Merkel, made clear yesterday, the EU is not for turning on the deal already on the table. Patience, already thin, is fast running out.

The atmosphere at Westminster this week was reminiscent of times and leadership contests past. If there is one group who can whip themselves into more of a lather than the Tories over ousting a leader it is the media. From the evening before, when news began to emerge of a confidence vote, the media went into overdrive and stayed there. Excitement could barely be contained. It was understandable, but one wondered how the confidence vote was being seen outside the Westminster bubble: as a messy but necessary playing out of parliamentary democracy, or a self-indulgent elite engaging in their favourite bloodsport?

It should hardly need saying but apparently it does: politics is not a parlour game. What is happening in the bubble has actual consequences for real people: their jobs, their homes, their health, their children’s future. Good Brexit, bad Brexit, no Brexit, it is the difference between people receiving essential medication or not; of goods arriving on time or not. It’s about the value of the pound, the attitudes of foreign investors, a thousand and one things.

Whatever your view on leaving or remaining, the failure to properly manage the UK’s exit from the EU is a national disaster. Now, more than ever, grown-ups are required to sort out the mess, but how? What is the fairest way?

Tory MP Nicky Morgan’s suggestion of a government of national unity was no sooner made than it fell victim to the farce playing out at Westminster. The delicate rapprochement between the SNP and Labour disintegrated over the former’s insistence on tabling a vote of no confidence in Mrs May asap, and the latter arguing that it would only do so when the chance of success was at its highest. There is no more chance of a government of national unity than there is of a heatwave over Christmas (even with global warming). If you think relations between Scottish Labour and the SNP are bad, imagine Labour’s London HQ team in the mix.

Many of those pushing for a no confidence vote are largely motivated by what they think should be the prize at the end of it – an automatic second EU referendum, or as it has been patronisingly dubbed, a “People’s Vote” (who voted last time, cats and dogs?). It is astonishing the way a second referendum policy has been adopted by the SNP, with scarcely a thought that they are establishing a precedent that could return one day to bite them on the backside. Or would the result of a referendum on independence from the UK be somehow different from one on independence from the EU?

Going straight to a second EU referendum makes a mockery of the first referendum and democracy in general. At a time when the reputation of politics has sunk to a low not seen since the expenses scandal, such a second vote could make matters worse. The expenses scandal or The Great Referendum Robbery: to an already disillusioned electorate it is the same thing, just with a different cast of characters, however well-meaning they claim to be.

There is one way forward that could bring about the least worst outcome, and that is for the Commons to conclude, in the national interest, that a General Election is the fairest way forward. A General Election would force parties to be clear about how they intend to proceed with Brexit, if indeed they do. An option for a second referendum could be a manifesto commitment. If the parties urging a People’s Vote reckon it is such a great idea, put it in the package.

There is another factor in favour of a General Election. After the past two years, the citizens of the UK can hardly claim to be clueless about what Brexit means. They have now watched the mother of all dress rehearsals. A vote now for or against parties supporting Brexit, or for a party promising a second referendum, would be the clearest possible expression of the settled will.

No one relishes the further upheaval that a General Election would bring, but no-one wants this chaos to continue. It is time for voters to take back control.