Alison Rowat

Mr Swinney was declared SNP leader on Monday in a ceremony in Glasgow that had as much fizz as a two-day-old glass of Irn-Bru. Much thought had obviously gone into making the event as low-key as possible. This was the new, slightly more humble SNP showing its face, a party getting back to normal after the upheaval of the past fortnight.

Mark Harper, the UK transport secretary, was the lucky minister sent out to tour the Sunday shows with a dual message from Number 10: yes the results were disappointing, but the plan is to stick to the plan. Clear enough? Not to Suella Braverman, who popped up on BBC1’s Sunday with Laura Kuenssberg. The former home secretary appeared more furious than disappointed, saying it was a “disgrace” for the Tories to be trailing Starmer, a man with “the charisma of a peanut”.

When I recently reviewed The Firm, a profile of Scottish solicitor Aamer Anwar (still available on iPlayer), I could not for the life of me work out what the deal was with tight skirts, high heels and slo-mo walking. The camera seemed obsessed with following the women solicitors in the firm, shooting them from their red Christian Louboutin soles upwards as they walked to the office across Blythswood Square. Sometimes Anwar walked between them, a dapper Don in a bespoke suit. All was revealed later on when he said one of his favourite programmes, the one that steered him toward the law as an interesting career, was Suits.

On behalf of Scotland, I’d like to put Granite Harbour (BBC Scotland, Thursday, BBC1, Friday) forward as the world’s first slow crime drama. As it begins its second series, not much has changed down Aberdeen way. Following his transfer from Jamaica, former royal military policeman Davis Lindo (Romario Simpson) is still finding his way in Police Scotland under the guidance of his boss, DCI Cora MacMillan (Dawn Steele), and work partner DS Lara “Bart” Bartlett (Hannah Donaldson).

Billy Connolly stands on stage at the ABC Cinema in Belfast at the height of the Troubles. He’s fearless. Dylan, for all his radicalism and era-defining songs, would never have done this. Nor, mind you, would Dylan have cracked jokes about snotters and farting

In the course of history, various events have conspired to propel leaders from high office. Humza Yousaf quit as First Minister of Scotland because he was snippy with a couple of folk and they were awfy upset about it.

Never mind all that business at Holyrood. As William Wallace nearly put it, our politicians may take the biscuit, but they’ll never take our freedom to nose around other people’s houses.

The first to compete for a place in the final concert was a youngster whose mum bought him a keyboard from Argos when he was four. “I come from a single parent family in a lovely council estate full of needles and students,” he said. He played Ballade No.4 by Chopin, “a very difficult piece” said Lang Lang.

Wherever he went, on television and radio, the former First Minister did his best to make every show The Salmond Show. The first question he should have been asked was, “Where is Ash Regan?” Salmond after all hailed Alba’s sole MSP as the most powerful member of the Scottish Parliament, with her vote critical in deciding Yousaf’s fate. Why wasn’t she the one being interviewed?